Let me skip ahead . I pastored three congregations, two for substantial periods of time. I helped people find faith, I helped them move towards better mental health, I accepted people who were often rejected, and performed the rituals of the group known as the church. Occasionally I had a few minutes to let faith grow, but as often the conspiracies of life, disappointment and betrayal probably helped faith wither. Net gain? Net loss? I'm not sure.
I currently attend a churchy congregation. I've had a chance to be with some of these fine folks in situations where we talk, share, learn, and wonder together. Many of the questions these older folks seem to mess with are questions often raised in third, fourth and fifth grade Sunday School classes. I think back, and they were the questions raised most often in that college-age group I was accepted into when God first tapped me on the shoulder.
They are not questions that help me, or help most people, find faith, grow in faith or live faith.
At least, they are not questions that help as far as I can tell. They are somewhat on the order of, "Where did Cain get his wife?"
So, in many ways I am still asking, "Can anyone tell me where to go to grow in faith, not bigotry. to grow in faith, not mere belief. to grow in faith, and thus in agape love?"
What has your experience been? I look for the positive, not the negative. Leave a comment and let us know.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Can Anyone Tell Me Where To Go? Part Two
Eventually I went to seminary. I believe God led me to do so. I thought I was going to learn about Christian faith. To some extent, I did. But mostly I learned traditions, teachings, beliefs, controversies (ancient and modern) and a little bit of style. I learned to be a pastor.
The most useful thing I learned was a prayer that embodies something of "faith" to me:
"God, I give myself to you,
all that I am and all that I have,
wholly and completely,
for you to use as you will, where you will, when you will and with whom you will.
Take from me all that I withhold from you,
all that I will not give you,
and I am for you, against myself."
Dean Whiston called it the "Snowflake Prayer". Prayed once, not important. Prayed daily as a contract, it could deepen faith and grow a person.
Where to go to learn faith?
Well, Dean Whiston was one person who almost accidentally was the right person to go to.
What do you think? Leave a comment and let us know.
The most useful thing I learned was a prayer that embodies something of "faith" to me:
"God, I give myself to you,
all that I am and all that I have,
wholly and completely,
for you to use as you will, where you will, when you will and with whom you will.
Take from me all that I withhold from you,
all that I will not give you,
and I am for you, against myself."
Dean Whiston called it the "Snowflake Prayer". Prayed once, not important. Prayed daily as a contract, it could deepen faith and grow a person.
Where to go to learn faith?
Well, Dean Whiston was one person who almost accidentally was the right person to go to.
What do you think? Leave a comment and let us know.
Saying The Same Thing Two Ways
A friend of mine said (a few years ago) that he thought that living by the Golden Rule was the summation of Christian faith. That has stuck with me. For some reason, this past week, I have been impressed by a couple of ways Jesus said it, sort of as an application of "Do to Others as you would have them do to you."
"Judge not that you are not judged. For as you judge others so will your heavenly father judge you." Hmmm. That's the Golden Rule applied to the whole act of judging, it seems to me.
On the Meyers-Briggs scale I come our pretty extreme on the J (judgment) side. That means I find it easy to relate to people via judgment. I have spent nearly half a century modifying my behavior so that I don't intuitively judge people but rather work to accept and understand them. It takes constant vigilance in that one cannot erase these traits that the M-B test uncovers, only modifiy the behaviors they lead to.
"Walk another mile in the other man's shoes" is another way of applying the Golden Rule. When I am allowed to, I try to perceive life as the "other person" perceives it, feel the feelings the other person feels, understand what it is like to live in the circumstances the other person lives in. And so forth. You "get it", I'm sure. I think this is another way of applying the Golden Rule.
It's not foolproof. Especially if I am the fool.
I once had the congregation use pencil and the margins of their bulletin to write down one way they wanted a person near them to treat them. One way. One thing.
Then I asked them to give that gift to the specific person they thought of. After a few minutes of pandemonium, I asked them to reflect on how it felt to be treated as the other person wanted to be treated.
In many cases it was a bust. Just because John wanted to be treated one way did not mean Bill wanted to be treated that way by John. Bill had a very different idea of what he wanted.
That's why walking in another person's shoes is so important. And why, of course, that "other person" has to communicate where her shoes are taking her. Without sensitive, accurate and non-judgmental communication there is no way either you or I can walk in that other person's shoes. We simply won't know.
What do you think? Leave your comment and let us know.
"Judge not that you are not judged. For as you judge others so will your heavenly father judge you." Hmmm. That's the Golden Rule applied to the whole act of judging, it seems to me.
On the Meyers-Briggs scale I come our pretty extreme on the J (judgment) side. That means I find it easy to relate to people via judgment. I have spent nearly half a century modifying my behavior so that I don't intuitively judge people but rather work to accept and understand them. It takes constant vigilance in that one cannot erase these traits that the M-B test uncovers, only modifiy the behaviors they lead to.
"Walk another mile in the other man's shoes" is another way of applying the Golden Rule. When I am allowed to, I try to perceive life as the "other person" perceives it, feel the feelings the other person feels, understand what it is like to live in the circumstances the other person lives in. And so forth. You "get it", I'm sure. I think this is another way of applying the Golden Rule.
It's not foolproof. Especially if I am the fool.
I once had the congregation use pencil and the margins of their bulletin to write down one way they wanted a person near them to treat them. One way. One thing.
Then I asked them to give that gift to the specific person they thought of. After a few minutes of pandemonium, I asked them to reflect on how it felt to be treated as the other person wanted to be treated.
In many cases it was a bust. Just because John wanted to be treated one way did not mean Bill wanted to be treated that way by John. Bill had a very different idea of what he wanted.
That's why walking in another person's shoes is so important. And why, of course, that "other person" has to communicate where her shoes are taking her. Without sensitive, accurate and non-judgmental communication there is no way either you or I can walk in that other person's shoes. We simply won't know.
What do you think? Leave your comment and let us know.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
How Much Money Does It Take to Have a Church?
The church we attend is, as are many churches in the USA, emphasizing giving and stewardship this season of the year. Well, most of the year, it seems. I got to wondering about how much money it takes to have a church?
Yes, church takes money.
Suppose a group of believers gather routinely in someone's home. That was the model in the first century of Christian growth, it seems. Even then someone provided refreshments, and the group gave something to help the "less fortunate" brethren in Jerusalem. It took a little money.
Add a person who gives pastoral care and prepares teaching messages. Should this person receive a stipend? Even suppose this person works full or part time away from the congregation, he/she gives evenings and days off to preparation and visitation. That's part of what church seems to require.
Add an enlarging congregation. Part time pastoring no longer cuts it. Really, an adequate, living salary seems required. Depending on the cost of living in the community that amount will be higher or lower. Still it seems pretty manageable if you look at it this way: 10 families tithing (giving 10% of their gross income) can support one family in pastoral ministry at an average level of their income. (I learned that from a Mennonite couple I had the privilege of working with and being friends with.)
There are a couple of catches. One, not every family will give 10% of their gross income. Two, most congregations want a building to house their activities in. Maybe they will rent one, first, but they outgrow the hospitality of the folks in the group with a sort-of large home.
With a building comes construction or rental costs, insurance, heat, lights, cooling in warmer climates, and so forth. Parking must be addressed and paid for. The cost has escalated big time when you factor in even a modest building. Oh, did I mention repairs and maintenance?
Some congregations feel the need for more paid staff. Add in insurance, retirement set-asides, the cost of finding such staff members, and the money it takes to have a church rises in a hurry.
How much money? How much will the organization give away to food banks, clothing banks, mission activities, outreach programs and so forth? I don't believe there is such a thing as a stingy Christian or a stingy Christian church? But each community has a different cost structure.
How much money? Think about it, and think realistically. It is usually more than most people think it should be, and almost always less than it could be.
Leave a comment and let us know what you are thinking.
Yes, church takes money.
Suppose a group of believers gather routinely in someone's home. That was the model in the first century of Christian growth, it seems. Even then someone provided refreshments, and the group gave something to help the "less fortunate" brethren in Jerusalem. It took a little money.
Add a person who gives pastoral care and prepares teaching messages. Should this person receive a stipend? Even suppose this person works full or part time away from the congregation, he/she gives evenings and days off to preparation and visitation. That's part of what church seems to require.
Add an enlarging congregation. Part time pastoring no longer cuts it. Really, an adequate, living salary seems required. Depending on the cost of living in the community that amount will be higher or lower. Still it seems pretty manageable if you look at it this way: 10 families tithing (giving 10% of their gross income) can support one family in pastoral ministry at an average level of their income. (I learned that from a Mennonite couple I had the privilege of working with and being friends with.)
There are a couple of catches. One, not every family will give 10% of their gross income. Two, most congregations want a building to house their activities in. Maybe they will rent one, first, but they outgrow the hospitality of the folks in the group with a sort-of large home.
With a building comes construction or rental costs, insurance, heat, lights, cooling in warmer climates, and so forth. Parking must be addressed and paid for. The cost has escalated big time when you factor in even a modest building. Oh, did I mention repairs and maintenance?
Some congregations feel the need for more paid staff. Add in insurance, retirement set-asides, the cost of finding such staff members, and the money it takes to have a church rises in a hurry.
How much money? How much will the organization give away to food banks, clothing banks, mission activities, outreach programs and so forth? I don't believe there is such a thing as a stingy Christian or a stingy Christian church? But each community has a different cost structure.
How much money? Think about it, and think realistically. It is usually more than most people think it should be, and almost always less than it could be.
Leave a comment and let us know what you are thinking.
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