Honor Your Father and Mother - 2

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What might it look like in a transient, fast-moving society like ours to "honor/respect your father and mother"?

I suppose we must generalize and speak of three or four ways you can respect even a  parent who doesn't deserve respect.  But first -- remember the post on "Love".  I believe the New Testament concept promoted by Jesus of Nazareth to "Love your neighbor" and "Love your enemy" means, primarly, a "profound, compassionate respect".  First Corinthians 13, verses 4 - 8a describe this behavior.  Thus "Honoring" even a non-deserving parent is no different than obeying Jesus to agape' your fellow believer, neighbor or enemy as you would agape' yourself.

Oh, darn!  Why did following Jesus get in this mix?

At least this takes "liking" your parent, or neighbor, or enemy, or even yourself, out of the equation.  It may be much to late to "like" or "feel friendly towards" or even "want to spend time with" the person whom we respect. 

First, listen.  Listen to what they say, and listen to what they are.  To paraphrase my brother in law, "My parent is what she/he is." 

• Alcoholic.  
• Sick.  
• Aging.  
• Failing.  
• Confused.  
• Successful.  
• Learning.  
• Incomplete.  
• Addicted.  
• Compulsive.  
• Bossy
• Kind
• Generous 
• Manipulative 
• Hospitable

The list could go on.  My parent is what she/he is.  Respect means listening to what the parent or parents have become.

Second, listen for how the parent(s) got there.  Were they damaged in a war zone?  Hurt by a spouse failing to return from battle?  Abandoned by a spouse or parent?  Laid off during a recession with no chance to appeal?  Hit by a drunken driver?  Are you respecting this person or these persons by listening for causes you cannot even imagine living through?

Third, listen for hopes and dreams, most of which are unrealized.  Disappointment can warp and twist  a person.  Has disappointment, or a sequence of disappointments, impacted your parent's way of seeing the world?  You may think you would have responded very differently (and maybe you would have, given the opportunities your parent provided for you, but respect means listening with ears, emotions and empathy.

You still don't have to like your parent(s) but are you respecting/honoring them by listening?

Leave a comment and let us know what you think, and what you are experiencing.